The holiday season can be a time of connection, beauty, and meaning - and it can stir unhealed wounds, activate our younger parts, and amplify stress. This guide helps you to stay rooted and resourced - and intentional.
1. Create Your Inner Home Base.
Before entering any event, family gathering, or emotional terrain, pause for a YOU-turn and ask:
- “What do I need to feel grounded and present?”
- “Which part of me needs acknowledgment or reassurance?”
- “What energy am I choosing to bring with me?”
Try a 30-second centering ritual: Place your hand on your heart and take three slow, deep belly breaths - say to yourself: “I belong to myself. I am safe inside my own presence.”
2. Boundaries Are Gifts (Not Walls)
Holiday expectations can create pressure. In the face of these, practice bold, compassionate, clear boundaries focused on workability - not moral meaning/ making things good or bad/ right or wrong
- “That doesn’t work for me, thank you.”
- “I’d love to join for an hour.”
- “I’m not available for that conversation.”
- “I’m choosing rest this year.”
3. Protect Your Nervous System
The holidays put a lot of strain on our physiology. Take pausing to call in flow seriously. Some suggestions are:
- Taking a “bathroom break”, just to breathe.
- Stepping outside between conversations.
- Drinking water before reacting.
- Placing both feet flat on the floor to reground.
- Trusting that your body always knows the way back to center
4. Connect With Aligned People (Even Just One)
Have a sanctuary person - Someone you can text or call when you feel activated. Create alignment around shared values, commitment, and connections you can rely on and trust. And, if you need to take space, try the simple messages:
- “Just stepped outside to breathe. Can you breathe with me for a few moments?”
- “I am reminding myself that I’m doing great, all is well. Can you hold that intention with me?”
- “Send me some grounding energy.”
Remember that emotional safety is a form of self-care.
5. Practice Heart-Centered Saying Yes - (Try on - if it's not a “hell-yes” then it's a no.)
Say Yes to what feels like: Warmth, Authentic connection, Creative expression, Presence, Rest, and Beauty
Say No to Obligation, Pretending, Over-giving, and Emotional Labor that drains your system. Permit Yourself To Choose
6. Build Nourishing Rituals
Consider creating a holiday ritual:
- A Christmas Eve tea with your journal.
- Lighting a candle for someone you miss.
- A gratitude walk.
- A quiet morning before the celebration.
- Pulling an oracle card on New Year’s Day.
- Writing a letter to the year you’re leaving behind.
Ritual brings coherence, meaning, and calm. Honor this and your system’s need for this, for self-care.
7. Honor Grief, Loneliness, and Tender Parts
The holidays can surface:
- Grief for what's changed, left behind, or gone before.
- Longing for what hasn't come, or unrealized/ broken dreams
- Tenderness about family dynamics; healed, unhealed, or alive and well, activated by the holidays
- Old stories are wounds - remember we offer our stories!
Make space for these parts and try this language with yourself: “I’m here. I see you. I’m allowed to feel this.” Your compassion is the ultimate healing balm.
8. Rest is revolutionary.
Rest is not laziness - it’s alignment - for your nervous system and all that aligns when you are in flow. Try Micro-rest:
- 10 minutes under a blanket.
- Short naps.
- Music that feels like a hug.
- Turning off notifications.
- Watching the sunset.
- Going to bed early.
- Saying no so you can say yes to your body.
Your nervous system will thank you.
9. Choose A Holiday Intention
Instead of trying to “get everything right,” choose a single intention:
- Peace - I am peace.
- Gentleness - I am gentleness.
- Play - I am play.
- Simplicity - I am simplicity.
- Connection - I am connection.
- Magic - I am magic.
- Coziness - I am coziness.
- Authenticity - I am authenticity.
Ask yourself: What would embody this intention today?
10. Give yourself love - generously
If you're a healer, therapist, leader, or space holder, the holidays often amplify your giving. Remember: You deserve the same tenderness you offer others.
Say to yourself each morning: “I give myself permission to receive.”
You don’t have to hold the holidays perfectly—you just have to hold yourself gently.
Take this one-page Holiday Self-Care Checklist as your seasonal companion for rest, boundaries, and nervous-system support.
