The Just Stop! Blog - A MANIFESTO for Transforming Patterns that Block our Bloom
Welcome to the inaugural edition of “Just Stop!”—a monthly blog that lays down the law on all the shenanigans blocking our bloom that we need to release.
It's time to reclaim your time, energy, and—most importantly—your happiness! This is your permission slip to drop the guilt, ditch the expectations, and unapologetically prioritize YOU. Let's dive into the first of many "Just Stop!" moments.
More than just a blog: it’s a movement. A call to action for those of us everywhere to stop doing the things that drain our energy; waste our time; chip away at their happiness and diminish our lives overall, blocking our bloom! Life is too short.
Next time you find yourself caught in an endless cycle of “shoulds” and “have tos”, remember this mantra: stop, Just Stop. Breathe. I can reclaim my time, protect my energy, and choose myself and my happiness.
Why do we say “sorry” when someone bumps us? Or apologize for taking up space, having an opinion, or simply living our lives? We can stop apologizing for things that don’t require an apology. We can own our bodies, our space, our voice, and right to be.
Release Apologizing for ExistingWhen we constantly apologize for existing, we're sending a message—to ourselves and others—that we don't deserve to take up space. It diminishes our presence, undermines our confidence, and chips away at our self-worth. It sends a message to the world that ours needs, thoughts, and feelings don't matter - that they are secondary. But guess what? They’re not.
You are not a burden. Your presence is not an inconvenience. You have every right to exist, to take up space, and to be heard. You don’t need to shrink yourself to make others feel comfortable. Your opinions matter, your boundaries are valid, and your voice deserves to be heard. Apologizing for these things isn’t just unnecessary—it’s harmful.
How to Break the Habit
Breaking the habit of over-apologizing starts with awareness. Begin by paying attention to how often you are “sorry” in situations that don’t warrant an apology. Are you apologizing when someone bumps into you? When you ask for something at a restaurant? When you express a differing opinion? Once you start noticing these patterns, you can begin to change them.
Here’s how:
- Replace “Sorry” with “Thank You.” Instead of apologizing, try expressing gratitude. For example, instead of saying “Sorry for being late,” say “Thank you for waiting.” This shifts the focus from guilt to appreciation and acknowledges the situation without diminishing yourself.
- Pause Before You Apologize. Before you instinctively say “sorry,” take a moment to ask yourself if an apology is really necessary. If it’s not, find another way to respond. You might say, “Excuse me,” or simply state what you need without preamble.
- Practice Assertive Communication. Being assertive doesn’t mean being aggressive; it means standing up for yourself and expressing your needs and opinions clearly and respectfully. Practice saying what you mean without softening your statements with unnecessary apologies.
- Own Your Space. Practice taking up space. Sit up straight, speak clearly, and don’t feel the need to apologize for having a strong presence. Your space in the world is yours to claim—own it.
- Re-frame Your Thinking. Start re-framing how you view your right to exist and be heard. Remind yourself that you are not an inconvenience; you are a person with inherent value and worth. You don’t need to apologize, for being you.
Owning Your Space, Unapologetically
Claiming our space means more than just standing tall and speaking up—it’s about embracing your right to be exactly who you are, without feeling like you have to soften the edges or dim the light to make others comfortable. It’s about recognizing that your voice matters and that your presence is valuable, no matter what anyone else might say.
When we stop apologizing for existing, we feel your confidence grow, our self-respect deepen, and our relationships improve and align with this shift. People start relating to you from this alignment - seeing you as someone who knows her worth and isn’t afraid to stand for respect. And most importantly, you’ll start to seeing, listening to and being with yourself that way too.
So, let's stop apologizing for simply existing. We're not just allowed to exist; we’re meant to thrive. Give it a try - take up space, be louder than you normally would be, be bolder than might feel comfortable usually, and simply be you. The world needs you and the gifts you're here to share.
Until next time, stay sassy, stay strong, and above all, stop putting everyone else before yourself. You deserve better. Join the movement.
